WAR! The creative soul at war with surviving

I'm a creative...a poor one....one that I think has come to terms with the fact that I cannot just express myself in one medium. Or rather let me put it this way, there isn't just one creative medium I want to be involved in, and in that lies my downfall.

We hear it SO often: focus. Pick just one thing. Friend of mine has been told many times by other musicians and some producers that if he just stuck to playing the base guitar he would become excellent as he has something special other than the ability to merely technically play the base guitar. Does he focus on base guitar? Nope. He likes playing the drums, electric lead, base, mixing, and his business which is making him a lot of money is renting audio gear.

However can a creative merely be confined by one creative medium? My main drive is to ultimately make feature films, yet I cannot seem to stop myself from dabbling in electronics, dabbling in woodworking, dabbling in product design...drawing, photography, CAD. Websites like Instructables.com make it even harder to focus on one thing. This is the war that rages in creatives, at least in me. Other artists seem to excel in their careers cause people refer to them as painters, or singers, or song writers, or actors, or directors, or photographers or bluddy architects. I like architecture as well by the way and wouldn't mind designing an ultimately seeing my vision as a building standing there. I sometimes think this is probably the biggest reason I'm lacking tracking as a professional - meaning a creative that gets paid....OFTEN.

Having too many creative interests is partly the reason I'm not getting anywhere. Well no that isn't entirely correct. Lack of money is the main reason, as least for the time being since most creative things no matter how small do cost some money and I've been low in the income department for a long time....a long seven year time that started with me doing my in service training as an Industrial Engineering technician.

It is mind boggling how unhappy it made me, how much debt I went into trying to buy happiness. YET I'm getting out of debt, and I'm getting more focused. My main focus as of the last few months since my venture to work full time at becoming who I want to be professionally is finding a means of constant income other than a 9 to 5 job.

The 9 to 5 jobs I've had took the energy right out of me and after while I got bored anyway - I never really felt in place but I loved the people I worked with in each instance and the stories they had to tell.

Once my income has stabilized again, I have an idea of getting more video work done, video work that I get paid for. This helps in two ways, maybe more, we'll see what I write after the colon:

- I get paid which helps since telling stories visually costs money and I'm not lucky enough to be a sponsored artist like say Michelangelo;

- I get story telling experience and experience in the visual medium;

- I get experience in telling a story the client wants to see.

THEN, as that starts to bring in money and grow clients and my skill improves, I can focus on my other hobbies which will eventually become part of my income stream which ultimately I envision myself doing the things I want to do without having to live off the sidewalk. The vision has me telling feature length stories, doing a documentary every once in a while, acting, travel, photography and I think you get the idea. The important bit is doing those things but making a living - that is what being a professional means, you get paid to do what you do.

Yet, having said all that, I still am at war with myself being a creative, and to reiterate, my definition of being a creative is an artist with many interests playing in many media.

At the moment there's a few products I want to design and make for myself, therefor I'll be making them with the approach of being a product for which I thank that stupid Industrial Engineering diploma for.

Whether it is a photograph I'm taking, a story I'm telling, or a shelf I'm building for myself, it is all parts of myself that shows who I am. Or does it? Or does it just show an unfocussed person trying to be an artist?